Good marriages flourish during the holidays, but Christmas is the straw that breaks the back of many bad marriages.

Present buying, who to invite to Christmas dinner, what to serve and how to pay for it all add extra pressure to a relationship.

I see many marriages that end during the Christmas/New Year period.

The combination of alcohol, family expectations and financial pressures can boil over into arguments and domestic violence.

• Don’t expect that if things have been rocky during the year that Christmas will make things better.
• Don’t follow family traditions if they add more pressure to your time or finances.
• Too much alcohol can lead to problems with verbal abuse or anger – if you are stressed, drink moderately.
• Consider setting a budget for food and or presents. Financial pressure can be a problem.
• Do what is best for your family and your children, not family expectations.
• Discuss your expectations with your partner – don’t just assume they will agree (or disagree).
• If things are tense, focus on the children having fun. Leave your issues at home for the day.

If you decide over the Christmas break to end your marriage, wait until the holiday break is over.

Don’t just leave. Get some advice from an experienced Family Lawyer before you separate, so you can do so in a civil way that has the least impact on your children and your wallet.